A letter from a Claire & Grace customer

I saw a dress I loved, and before I'd finished looking at it I'd decided it was too young for me

I don't usually write about clothes. I'd rather be in the garden, lost in a book, or out walking Banjo. But something happened a few weeks ago that I keep coming back to.

I was looking through dresses one evening and stopped on one. A high halter neck, big blocks of black, cream and warm sand. My first thought was: oh, that's lovely. My second came half a second later.

Not for me. Not at my age.

Nobody had said it to me. There was nobody else in the room. I'd said it to myself, so quickly I hadn't even noticed.

How the rules creep in

First it was sleeveless dresses. Then anything above the knee. Then halter necks, anything with a bit of a modern shape. Each one went onto a list I never wrote down, until I was buying whatever was left over.

I don't mind getting older, and I'm not trying to look forty again. I'd just let my age start making decisions before I had the chance to.

What I had wrong

What makes a dress feel wrong is usually the whole of it, not one part. Something tight and fussy and short is very different from something relaxed and simple that happens to be short.

Old habits from my banking days, perhaps, but I'd never have turned down an application without reading it first. I'd been doing exactly that with my own wardrobe.

The dress is called Sabrina

It's the Sabrina Colorblock Halter Mini Dress from Claire & Grace Sydney. Three neutral colours in clean blocks, a softly gathered halter neck, and a relaxed shift shape that falls rather than clings.

I'll admit I ordered it half expecting to send it back.

The part I expected to dislike

I was sure it would be the neckline. But because the rest of the dress is so plain and relaxed, it didn't feel like a statement. It felt tidy. Put together.

The length took a moment longer. It is a mini, but it falls loosely rather than hugging, and on, it felt far more ordinary than it had in my head.

I didn't feel younger. I felt like myself, in a dress I liked. That Saturday I wore it for coffee in town and an afternoon outside with a book, and never once tugged at it. At some point I put my hands in the pockets and forgot they were there.

Three things I've noticed since

One. The shape. It's modern without relying on being tight. The relaxed shift fit leaves room to move.

Two. The details do the work. Between the halter neck and the colourblocking, a couple of bangles is plenty.

Three. It goes either way. Flat sandals for the daytime, or heels if you're off somewhere smarter.

About the price

The Sabrina is $99.95 AUD at the moment. It's usually $200.00 AUD, so that's half off in their spring sale.

Buying clothes online isn't like trying something on in a shop, so I read the fine print. Shipping is free with Australia Post, there's a 30-day money-back guarantee, payment is secure, and there's a size chart for XS to 2XL. The product page shows a rating of 4.7 out of 5 from 4,261 customers.

If you're anything like me

If your first thought was "I love that" and your second was "but not for me", stay with the first one a little longer. Just long enough to ask where the second one came from.

The dress didn't make me younger. That was never the point. I just like deciding for myself again. The spring sale ends once stock runs out, so have a proper look and decide for yourself.

I still say no to plenty of things. I just like it to be my no.

Julie